Attitude Check

I had to laugh as I got onto my blog page to start this post. Delighted? Today is one of those days I just don't feel very delighted. Of course, my delight and my hope are in the Lord daily, but on an earthly level...not feeling so delighted. It has been one of those days that you feel like taking a day off from being a mother. Where nothing specific is getting on your nerves, but EVERYTHING is getting on your nerves. The kids don't take a nap, they refuse to use their 'inside' voices and obedience is like a foreign concept to them. And obedience with a good attitude? Forget it. But how can I really expect them to have a good attitude when their mother has THE. WORST. ATTITUDE. of anyone in the house. If their behavior is reflective, in any way, of my own behavior, then I definitely need a time out!

Some days I feel like I'm not cut out for this mothering thing, that I don't have what it takes. Of course, this is a lie I choose to believe. Because I know that GOD gave me these children and started preparing me before they were even born, to make me into the person He wants me to be in order to make them into the into the people He wants them to be. Such a high calling. That requires sacrifice. That requires selflessness. That requires SO much patience. That is so much more important than whether or not the dishes and laundry are done.

So, how do you do it? On days when you really don't feel like doing it. When you really feel like you don't know how to do it. When it's all you can do to control their behavior, let alone shepherd their hearts.  Ask God. If any of you lacks wisdom he should ask God, who gives generously to all, without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:5. Oh, Lord, give me wisdom, give me patience and love for my children that only comes from you, not by my strength, but by Yours.

T-ball

Clae is old enough to play T-ball this year! In some ways I can't believe may baby boy is old enough to be playing an organized sport. There are about 14 kids on the team and I'm pretty sure he's the youngest one. There are some other four-year-olds but all of their birthdays are before his. He does a really good job for as young as he is. I was afraid he would be distracted not really know what was going on, but he pays attention and follows directions really well. He still needs some work in the skill departement, but that's to be expected. He's a pretty fast runner and knows all of the bases, he can catch pretty well and is getting much better and throwing and hitting. It is so darn cute to watch him out there. The first practice I almost wanted to cry the whole time because I couldn't get over how cute he was, such a big boy, but still so little. I'll post pictures sometime if I ever remember to take my camera.

Living Proof Live – Kansas City Recap Video

Living Proof Live – Kansas City Recap Video

Living Proof Live!

A group of 11 of us went to see Beth Moore at a Living Proof Live event this weekend in Kansas City. It was an awesome time of worship, fellowship, catching up with old friends and making new ones.

This is our whole group. There were six of us from our church, plus my sister-in-law, friends from Iowa State, a childhood friend, and a new friend I'd never met before.

Waiting for the event to begin.

Kiles (college friend), Melissa (sis-in-law)

Evanica, Karissa and Nicole (church friends)

Jane and Lisa (church friends)

Darcy (college friend), Jana (new friend)

Our church group

My wonderful friends, I wish they lived closer. Oh how I miss them!

We had SO much fun laughing and catching up and staying up WAY too late. What a blessing this time was for me and I think everyone in the group would say the same.

I've debated about whether I should post notes. It just isn't the same if you weren't there to hear her commentary, but in the hopes that something in the notes will catch your attention, give you some encouragement, or make you think, I'll post the main points she gave.

Text: 1 Thessalonians 1

Definitions:
WE - The Effectual - fruit bearers (mature believers)
YOU - The Affecting - fruit bearing
THEY - The Affected - fruit tasting

1. The contagion of faith still spreads through WE, YOU and THEY.

2. THEY can catch what YOU have and YOU can catch what WE have.

3. WE are called to affirm YOU in your faith and in your fruit.

4. YOU need to see proof that WE are for real and THEY need to see proof that YOU are for real.

5. THEY cannot remain indecisive. THEY must choose.

6. Every WE, YOU, THEY and the rest will behold the return of Jesus.

7. WE will see YOU there.

So, these points make perfect sense to me because I heard everything else she said, but if they're confusing on their own I would be more than happy to explain them further. Or just ask me about the conference, I would love to tell you more about it!

Easter 2012

Our Easter weekend was as eventful as it is every year. We started out by going to Uncle Jeffrey and Aunt Melissa's on Saturday to celebrate with the Cass family. We had lunch and and egg hunt. It was a little cool and a little rainy but the kids still loved it.

The big hit of the day were to swords. They're styrofoam but they still managed to hurt each other with them!

Sunday we had and early service at church at 8:00. The kids were not in a good mood.

We had breakfast after the early service, thought that would make the kids feel better. It helped for a little while.

They didn't want to go to Sunday school, I don't know why, they love Sunday school.

During the regular service I sent them to the nursery, breathed a sigh of relief that I would have a few minutes to myself. I heard crying. It got louder. It was Clae, coming into the sanctuary, during the sermon, crying at the top of his lungs, "I HAVE TO GO PEE." That was the real low point of the day.

By the time we got home at noon I was completely exhausted. I thought they would take the longest nap they've ever taken. An hour and a half.

I should have known by the look on Lydia's face in these pictures, it wasn't going to be a good day.

I had to show this picture of my sweet little almost-two-year old last Easter. My how the attitude has changed in a year. I'm hoping it's a phase.

Playing legos at my parent's. The attitudes were getting a little bit better at this point.

Of course we did another egg hunt with my family. This is post nap, but we're still having some issues off and on.

This one is blurry but I thought it was funny. It's like he's running to get the eggs before ALLLLL of the other kids get to them. Oh, wait, the only other kid is Lydia and she's really not even that interested in finding the eggs.

It really was a good weekend, despite the frustrating moments, and the sadness in my heart over our recent loss. The sadness is always there, but for some reason I was much more aware of it this weekend.

We had a wonderful church service, we're trying to do things a little bit differently, I think the changes went over really well.

I'm so thankful that through all of the joys and trials of life that my Savior lives!

New Project

With everything else that's been going on I haven't taken the time to do a post about our newest purchase and MAJOR project we're taking on. This article describes it much better that I would ever be able to.

As of right now the office/reception area is done, and three units are framed up and coming along quite nicely.

By LACEY JACOBS, Ledger staff writer Mar 16, 2012

STOCKPORT — Rooms where Van Buren County students once learned reading, writing and arithmetic are being converted into luxury independent living apartments for retired and senior tenants.

Brothers Kirby and Kelly Cass of Twin Home Builders have teamed up with their parents Larry and Kristine Cass to purchase the former Stockport school and open Heritage Estates.

The family closed on the property — purchased from the city of Stockport — two weeks ago and immediately kicked off renovations. They plan to open the first five apartments by mid-summer.

The idea of redeveloping the 35,000-square foot school came to the family around the time its equipment was auctioned in the fall.

“This idea suits it really well,” Kelly Cass said. “We know that there is a need for this type of service.”

Though the 10,000-square foot gymnasium was built in 1953, Cass said the rest of the one-story structure was built in 1999, 2002 and 2006.

“It’s a newer building, and everything is built well,” he said.

The rooms, mostly 800- to 1,200-square feet, each already have water and sewer connections, easing the process of converting them into apartments with full kitchens, bathrooms, living rooms and dens, Cass said.

The plan is to renovate 16-17 one- and two-bedroom apartments. Additionally, Heritage Estates will offer cleaning, laundry, meal and transportation services. Everything will be handicap accessible.

Common areas, including the gym, library, dining room and central courtyard garden, also will be open to residents.

Cass said the goal is to provide the sense of community that is important to Stockport citizens.

Letitia “Toots” Webber, her husband and son are leasing space in the school to open The Village Café.

Cass said the kitchen, built in 2006, is in excellent shape and only needs a few minor changes for the restaurant to open in mid-April. In addition to serving Heritage Estates residents, it will be open to the community.

The Cass family plans to open the gymnasium to the community as well. It will be available to rent for private functions and events.

Cass said the gym is ready for use, but will likely be repainted a neutral color rather than existing shades of the Van Buren Warriors.

Cass said the building also has space for a possible retail business, but nothing has been confirmed at this point.

The Cass family intends to hold an open house early this summer once some of the apartments are complete. Cass said it will provide an opportunity for the public to see just how nice the building truly is.

The Van Buren Community School District closed the middle school after the 2010-11 school year due to declining enrollment and budget pressures. It was then gifted to the city of Stockport in February.

Heartbeat

I've been waiting for weeks to write this post. I was planning to post a picture of a positive pregnancy test and annouce that we were expecting our third baby. Instead I'll be writing a story of heartbreak, sadness, and unanswered questions.

We found out in January that we were expecting our third baby, due in September. We were very excited, we told the kids and our families pretty early since I knew I would have to quit daycare due to the fact that I would probably start feeling sick very soon, as I usually do. The sickness started just as I thought it would. I always take it as a good sign, indicating that the pregnancy is moving along as it should.

I went to University Hospitals yesterday for my first prenatal appointment. I had no reason to think anything would be wrong, I was feeling sick, my belly was getting bigger, everything seemed just the same as my other two pregnancies which resulted in two very healthy babies.

The nurse took me through all of the initial paperwork, height, weight, blood pressure, urine sample, etc. Then I would see the doctor, have my exam, get some blood work done, and hopefully hear the babies heartbeat.

The doctor tried listening for the heartbeat, he searched for a while and couldn't hear it, but he said it's not unusual, it's still early. At the point I wasn't concerned (although I should have been because, now that I think about it, we've always been able to hear the heartbeat by 11 weeks). He brought the portable ultrasound machine in the room to check that way. He told me that wasn't a very good machine and he would send me to get an ultrasound by the ultrasound tech. I asked him if it was time to panic. He said "no," but I did anyway.

They got me into ultrasound right away, I watched the screen, looking at the perfectly formed baby, watching for some sign of life. Nothing. I was sobbing by this point. The tech just said, "I'm so sorry." She didn't have to tell me, I already knew.

I went in and talked to the doctor about what to expect now. I traded in my shiny new "pregnancy" packet for a "grief" packet and left the hospital in a fog, making a mental list of all the people we had told about the baby and all of the people we would have to tell that there is no more baby. The thought of telling the kids broke my heart the most.

I called Kirby and let him know. I was actually glad that I went to the appointment alone so I could have a little bit of time to process what was happening. We told the kids this morning, Clae was upset, I don't think Lydia really understood.

Other than being very sad and having so many unanswered questions God has given me a peace with what has happened. I know there is a reason for it that I may never know, but God knows and that's what matters. I think about the many blessings I already have in my life, my two healthy and beautiful children, and all I can do now is move forward and be the best mom I can be to those two precious little things, continue to praise God in the midst of this trial and know that Jesus has never once left me alone and He never will.